Love and Lust Corner: Are we dating or just vibing? Signs to help you understand

• Understanding where you stand in a relationship is important as it saves you from unnecessary heartache
• Knowing the difference between dating and vibing can save you a lot of stress and time
• Here are signs to help you identify if you are in a relationship or just vibing

In today’s Nigerian dating scene, relationships can sometimes feel confusing. Many young people choose to have what we now call situationships, a kind of relationship that’s more than friendship but less than a full-on commitment. 

A situationship often resembles dating, but it doesn’t have a clear label or commitment. Instead, people enjoy each other’s company and vibe without the pressure of a defined relationship.

Situationships have become popular for several reasons. Many Nigerian youths are focused on personal goals, like school, career, or self-improvement, so a relaxed relationship feels easier to manage. 

Others enjoy the freedom of vibing without the pressures of a serious relationship. However, without a clear direction, situationships can sometimes lead to confusion and heartbreak, especially if one person wants more than the other.

With the mix of modern and traditional values in Nigeria, it’s common for young people to ask, “Are we dating, or are we just vibing?” 

TheRadar explores signs that will help you identify if you are dating or in a situationahip. 

12 signs you are dating or just vibing

Figuring out if you’re dating or just vibing can help you know where you stand and what to expect. Here are some key signs:

1. Quality time spent together in public

When dating, people are more likely to spend quality time together in public, attend events, and engage in activities beyond private hangouts. They may also include you in their plans and outings, where it’s natural for friends and acquaintances to see you both as a couple. However, someone who’s vibing with you might keep things more private or less visible, perhaps only meeting up for relaxed or convenient hangouts. This type of relationship is less about public activities and more focused on low-pressure, casual encounters​.

2. Frequency and depth of communication

Communication in a dating context is consistent, meaningful, and tends to go beyond surface-level conversations. Daily check-ins, sharing personal thoughts, and genuinely staying updated on each other’s lives are common. Meanwhile, casual or sporadic communication is more common when vibing. Conversations might be more focused on present moments or fun topics without much emotional investment. They’re less likely to check in daily or engage in deep conversations​.

3. Meeting friends and family

Introducing each other to friends and family can indicate a desire for a more serious relationship. If they want you to meet their close circle, it’s often a sign they see you as part of their long-term plans. On the other hand, if introductions to friends or family aren’t happening, or if they seem hesitant to involve you in social gatherings, it might indicate a casual connection. People who are just vibing may prefer to keep relationships light and be less involved with family and friends.

4. Planning for the future together

In a dating relationship, future planning is more common. Whether it’s planning a weekend getaway, discussing events several weeks out, or casually talking about life goals, future plans suggest a deeper interest and intention to continue the relationship. However, a more casual connection often lacks these types of plans. If your partner avoids discussing plans beyond the next hangout, it may signal that they’re not considering the relationship as long-term​.

5. Physical and emotional exclusivity

Dating relationships often include a sense of exclusivity and emotional intimacy. Both partners may feel comfortable sharing their vulnerabilities and building trust, and they may agree to be exclusive or at least hint at not seeing others. In a vibing scenario. exclusivity isn’t a priority. There might be chemistry and attraction, but the emotional investment is typically lighter. If they’re keeping options open or avoid discussing exclusivity, it’s a sign the connection may be more casual​.

6. Defining the relationship 

When dating, both people are usually comfortable defining the relationship. If you’ve discussed being together, even without formal labels, you’re likely both invested in taking things to a deeper level. In contrast, if asking “What are we?” seems to make them uncomfortable or they avoid labelling the relationship, it’s often an indicator of a casual vibe. Avoidance here often suggests they may not be ready or interested in committing​.

7. Consistent levels of affection

Physical affection is usually more frequent and meaningful in a dating relationship. This can include holding hands, hugging, kissing, and even more intimate gestures that build emotional connection and trust. However, if the physical affection feels more casual or infrequent, it might indicate a more relaxed vibe. Someone who is just vibing might reserve affection for private moments without a deeper emotional commitment​.

8. Jealousy or protectiveness

If someone is genuinely invested in you, they may show signs of jealousy or protectiveness when you interact with others, reflecting an emotional stake in the relationship. They care about your perception and may express concerns when they see you with someone else. Meanwhile, a casual relationship may lack this sense of jealousy, except they’re actively trying to deceive you into thinking they’re serious about you. If they seem indifferent or casually dismissive when you mention other people, it may suggest that they’re not emotionally committed​.

9. Being there during tough times

In a committed relationship, partners are usually there for each other during difficult times, showing emotional support and care. This can include helping each other through personal issues, offering comfort, and being reliable during crises. However, if someone tends to distance themselves during challenging moments or offers little emotional support, it might indicate a casual vibe rather than a committed dating relationship​.

10. Discussing values and life goals

When dating, conversations often extend to values, beliefs, and life goals. Partners may discuss their future aspirations, family plans, and what they plan for their lives. This exchange helps build deeper connections and mutual understanding. In contrast, casual relationships typically don’t go deeply into these discussions. If conversations remain light and fun without exploring serious topics, it’s more likely that you’re just vibing​.

11. Social media interaction

If you’re dating someone, it’s common to see social media interactions that signify a relationship. This could include tagging each other in posts, sharing photos together, and publicly acknowledging each other as partners. On the other hand, if your interactions on social media are limited or non-existent, it might indicate that the relationship is more casual and not something they’re ready to showcase publicly​.

12. Conversations about exclusivity

When you’re dating, it’s natural to discuss exclusivity and what that means for both partners. This conversation often leads to a mutual understanding and agreement about being exclusive with each other. But if discussions about exclusivity feel awkward or are avoided altogether, it could be a sign that the relationship is just vibing. This avoidance may suggest that neither party is ready to commit​.

Figuring out whether you’re dating or just vibing can be confusing, but it’s important to pay attention to these signs. If things still feel unclear, trust your instincts. Even if your partner seems to avoid the signs of a situationship, listening to your gut feelings can guide you toward the truth. 

If you're unsure about your relationship status, don’t hesitate to discuss it with your partner. Having an honest conversation can help clarify where you both stand and ensure that you’re on the same page. 

13 signs your boyfriend/talking stage might be a walking red flag

Meanwhile, TheRadar earlier reported on signs of red flags to watch out for in your relationship. 

Signs like lack of consistency, excessive jealousy, misogynistic behaviour, and lies, are pointers that you may be dating a walking red flag.