- Dating or being in a relationship can be fun and exciting especially the thrill in the early stage
- It is, however, important to be observant and cautious in the talking stage or early phase of the relationship
- Here are some red flags to look out for in order to avoid heartache in the long run
When it comes to relationships, it's important to be aware of potential red flags, especially in the Nigerian dating scene, where cultural dynamics, expectations, attitudes can vary and the men can be very smooth and slick.
While everyone deserves a chance, certain behaviours and attitudes may reflect deeper issues that could cause problems in the long run.
TheRadar compiled a list of 13 signs your boyfriend or talking stage guy could be a walking red flag.
13 red flags to look out for in a man
- Lack of consistency
Consistency is key in any relationship. If he’s blowing hot and cold, it’s a warning sign. One minute, he’s calling and texting non-stop, and the next, he disappears for days without explanation. A man who’s serious about you will want to be present in your life consistently. When his actions don't match his words, it’s worth reconsidering how invested he truly is.
- He never takes responsibility
If a Nigerian man constantly shifts the blame for every problem in his life, whether it’s failed relationships, work issues, or family troubles, this is a red flag. A man who cannot take responsibility for his actions or decisions is likely to shift the blame onto others, including you, when things go wrong. This can become emotionally exhausting in the long run.
- Excessive jealousy and control
Jealousy can sometimes be mistaken for love or care, but when it becomes excessive or controlling, it’s a serious red flag. If he’s constantly questioning who you're with, what you're wearing, or who’s calling your phone, it’s a sign of insecurity. In extreme cases, this can lead to possessive and abusive behaviour. Healthy relationships are built on trus t and not control.
- He refuses to define the relationship
A Nigerian man who avoids defining the relationship, even after months of dating, may not have serious intentions. If he's always giving vague responses like "Let’s see how things go" or "Why label things?" it’s often because he’s keeping his options open. If you’re looking for commitment and he’s not giving clear answers, it’s worth having a direct conversation to avoid being strung along.
- Financial irresponsibility
A man who is financially reckless or secretive about his finances can cause future problems. Whether it’s borrowing money without paying back, constantly complaining about being broke, or expecting you to foot the bill all the time, it’s a red flag. Financial compatibility is important in long-term relationships. It’s one thing for him to be going through a rough patch, but if he shows no sign of managing his money responsibly, it is a red flag.
- He talks down on women
Pay close attention to how he speaks about women in general. If he frequently makes derogatory comments about women, including ex-girlfriends, female colleagues, or even his own family members, it could be a sign of misogyny. A man who disrespects women will eventually treat you the same way. You want someone who respects and values you, not someone who views women as inferior or disposable.
- He avoids introducing you to his friends or family
In Nigerian culture, family plays a significant role in relationships. If you’ve been dating for a while and he hasn’t introduced you to any of his friends or family members, it’s a red flag. It could mean he’s not serious about the relationship or that he’s hiding something, like another relationship. A man who’s genuinely committed to you will want to include you in his social circles.
- Inconsistent stories or lies
If you catch him in little lies or notice that his stories don’t add up, this is a major red flag. A man who lies about small things will likely lie about bigger issues in the future.
Whether it’s lying about where he was, who he was with, or even his job status, honesty is important in a relationship. Once trust is broken, it can be hard to rebuild.
- Disrespectful behaviour toward others
Watch how he treats people around him, especially waiters, security guards, drivers, or even strangers. If he’s rude, dismissive, or condescending to others, it’s a clear indication of his character.
A man who shows respect to everyone, regardless of status, is someone who is emotionally mature and empathetic. Disrespect towards others can easily translate to disrespect towards you.
- Too much reliance on his mother or family
It’s great when a man is close to his family, but when his family, especially his mother, seems to dictate his every move, this could mean trouble. If he can’t make decisions without consulting them or constantly puts their opinions above yours, it may be a sign that he’s not ready to set boundaries and prioritize your relationship.
- He talks about marriage too soon
While it’s common in Nigeria for men to start talking about marriage early on in a relationship, especially with societal pressure to settle down, it can be a red flag if he brings it up too soon or with urgency. A man who talks about marriage before really getting to know you might be driven by external pressures or other motivations, like getting his family off his back or looking for a caregiver rather than a partner. Real connections take time to build, and rushing into marriage is never a good idea.
- He has a problem with your independence
A man who feels threatened by your career, ambitions, or independence is someone you should be cautious about. If he constantly complains about you working late, traveling for work, or making your own decisions without his input, it’s a sign he may want to control or limit you. A supportive partner should be your biggest cheerleader, not someone who wants to hold you back.
- Too much secrecy
While everyone values their privacy, a man who is overly secretive about his phone, social media, or his daily activities may be hiding something. If he gets defensive whenever you ask simple questions or if he’s always on his phone but won’t let you touch it, there’s a chance he’s hiding other relationships or shady activities. Transparency is important in any healthy relationship.
While no one is perfect, and every relationship requires patience and compromise, recognizing these red flags early in the relationship can save you a lot of heartache.
The most important thing is to trust your instincts and communicate openly. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to ask questions and set boundaries.
6 signs your husband may be cheating on you
Meanwhile, TheRadar earlier reported six signs to look out for if you suspect that your husband is cheating on you.
They may be subtle but are pointers to infidelity. Paying more attention to his appearance, becoming more secretive, or suddenly more loving than usual are some of the signs that your husband may be cheating on you.