Love & Lust: 6 clear signs you are in a one-sided relationship

• Love often begins beautifully, but relationships can shift into painful territory when one partner feels neglected
• Understanding the five stages of love can help you navigate the complexities of emotional connections
• TheRadar highlights how you can recognise the signs of a one-sided relationship, which  is crucial for your emotional well-being 

Love is beautiful, especially when you find the one who truly understands you. They know when your silence speaks volumes, can finish your sentences, and understand your emotions. 

They are the perfect shoulders to cry on when you are weary and the ones who stimulate those butterflies in your belly. That’s the beautiful part of being in love. But for Yvonne(not her real name), this blissful experience took an unexpected turn.

Yvonne met Joseph in an unusual setting, and what started as a disastrous first meeting blossomed into a beautiful love story. He had a knack for turning sad moments into laughter, and it was this charm that made her fall for him. 

“He’s so perfect… how lucky I am to find him,” Yvonne gushed as she admired the figure sprawled on her bed, the sound of his snoring resonating like a beautiful melody, rendered by Whitney Houston.

However, as time passed, nights became days, and days turned into months—what seemed like a fairy tale turned into an island of disbelief and unanswered questions. She now stared at the man she once adored, feeling like she was gazing at a stranger. “What changed?” she pondered. Late-night conversations were replaced with dismissive replies such as, “I’m busy, not today, don’t you understand?” 

Many individuals can relate to Yvonne and Joseph’s plight. Some call it a love-gone-wrong. Initially, love is full of connection, communication, and sweet memories. But love can be tricky; one partner may eventually fall out of love while the other clings to memories. The harsh reality is that sometimes, you are left feeling alone in what once seemed like a shared journey.

According to research, there are five stages of love: 

• Infatuation: A phase of intense excitement and strong connection, this is when you meet, and Nollywood describes it as the point butterflies start flowing, the eye contact, subtle smile, and the moment the world pauses—a love at first sight feeling. 
• Early Attachment: This phase is where building trust and deepening intimacy as excitement subsides. You share your thoughts, and you get the attention you need. 
• Crisis/Adjustment: This is the stage beyond date-nights, beyond cinemas, this is where both individuals face the realities of differences, leading to potential conflicts. You start noticing that he doesn't cover the toilet seat after he's done, or she leaves stains on the mirror unwiped after brushing, or he laughs too loud, and you question if you truly want this for yourself. 
• Deep Attachment: This is the light at the end of the tunnel, where you overcome your differences and opt in to do forever till whenever, and lastly, 
• Commitment and Bonding. 

Unfortunately, this third stage is where many individuals pull away. Joseph stopped trying, while Yvonne remained anchored in the earlier stages. They both desired the rosy beginning, but he chose to withdraw instead of openly communicating, leaving her stuck in a cycle of memories, yearning for his former affection.

To avoid the pain that arises from a one-sided relationship, it’s important to recognise that moving forward is essential, but first, you must acknowledge that you are alone. 

TheRadar has compiled essential insights for understanding one-sided relationships.

Signs you are in a one-sided relationship 

A one-sided relationship is defined by an imbalance in effort, where one partner invests more emotionally and physically while the other remains unresponsive. 

Here are some signs of a one-sided relationship 

1. Unequal effort

A relationship is supposed to be a mutual thing, with both parties bringing in a 50-50 effort to make a 100 per cent connection. However, when you notice that you initiate plans and conversations far more than your partner, then there is a high possibility that you are alone in this. Remember, you can't be too busy for the things you love.

2. Lack of reciprocation

This can be quite tricky because humans have different character traits and temperaments. Your partner can be a melancholic, while you are choleric, but irrespective of these psychological analyses, when you give but receive little in terms of emotional support or affection, then you need to start considering speaking to your partner about it or moving on. 

3. Insecurity and feeling unfulfilled 

A relationship is supposed to bring solace and confidence. You see yourself in your partner, and you are convinced that he/she is your person. But when you feel unsure about your partner’s commitment and question your worth, spending time together leaves you drained or dissatisfied, then it is possible that they have moved on without you, and they are not brave enough to call it quits. 

4. Constant apologising and making excuses 

When you find yourself apologising disproportionately, even when you haven’t done anything wrong, pleading to be heard for the sake of peace and agreeing to their choice for the sake of peace, then your partner does not value you the way you do. Or you justify your partner's negative behaviour instead of addressing concerns. “Ohh! Work has been getting the best of her.” “He's just tired,” “He doesn't mean it that way, I'm sure!”

The truth is, you are almost or already in a one-sided relationship. 

5. Poor communication

In any successful relationship, communication is very crucial. You are two different people, and the only way to see through yourselves is to be open and transparent. However, when there is poor communication, and your partner does not get you when you try to make him or her see, the relationship is heading for the cliff. You feel unheard or uncared for regarding your needs and feelings. They apologise, yet do the same thing.

They reach out only when it suits them, often complimenting your body rather than you as a person — saying things like, “I miss your body,” or “I love how you feel,” instead of, “I miss you,” or “I miss the way you make me laugh.”

They prioritise their sexual needs more than genuine connections with you. This sign is an indicator that you might be alone. 

6. Making major decisions alone 

You find yourself handling important choices without input from your partner. Your partner consistently leaves you to make important decisions, forgets significant dates like anniversaries and birthdays, dismisses your feelings, and lacks emotional support and enthusiasm; you might be in a one-sided relationship. These red flags can indicate that your partner isn't truly invested, leaving you feeling alone and unheard. 

Recognising these signs can empower you to make informed choices about the future of your relationship. Don’t let love turn into loneliness. Understand that you deserve a partnership filled with mutual respect, effort, and emotional investment.

10 tips to help you maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse

In an earlier report, TheRadar compiled 10 tips to help maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse.

Maintaining a healthy relationship with your spouse doesn’t have to be complicated or overwhelming. Relationships take work, but the rewards can be fulfilling when you put in the right effort.