5 things you should do when your Nigerian parents disapprove of your partner

• In Nigeria, family plays a pivotal role in shaping major life decisions like the choice of a partner
• Gaining parental approval is not just a sign of respect; it is a cultural expectation
• Here are strategies to employ when your parents disapprove of your partner 

In many Nigerian families, parental approval in romantic relationships carries significant weight. Growing up, we are often taught that family opinions matter, especially when it comes to choosing a life partner. 

If you find yourself in a situation where your parents disapprove of your partner, you may feel stuck between your affection for them and your desire to keep your family happy.

Trying to find a balance between love and family expectations can be challenging. You might be torn between wanting to assert your independence and the fear of disappointing your parents. It's important to remember that while you have the right to make your own choices, understanding your parents' concerns can lead to more productive conversations. 

TheRadar explores strategies addressing parental disapproval. 

Strategies to employ when your parents disapprove of your partner

1. Understanding the roots of disapproval

Before looking into solutions, it's important to understand why your parents might disapprove of your partner. Nigerian parents often have strong cultural beliefs and values that shape their perspectives on relationships. 

They may have specific expectations regarding your partner's background, career, tribe, or even their behaviour. In some cases, parents might worry about the future stability of your relationship or fear that your partner will not fit into the family dynamics.

Additionally, their disapproval could stem from personal experiences or fears that they want to protect you from. It is crucial to listen carefully to their concerns and try to empathise with their point of view. This understanding can pave the way for meaningful conversations and help you present your perspective more effectively.

2. Open communication

Once you understand the reasons behind your parents' disapproval, the next step is to engage in open dialogue. Approach the conversation with patience and respect. 

Choose a calm moment to express your feelings, and make it clear that you value their opinion. Share what you love about your partner and why you believe they are a good fit for you.

While it’s essential to express your feelings, be prepared to listen to your parents' side as well. Acknowledge their concerns without being defensive. This exchange can often lead to a more open-minded discussion and help them see your partner in a different light.

3. Introduce your partner

If possible, consider arranging a meeting between your parents and your partner. A face-to-face introduction can help humanise your partner in your parents' eyes. It allows them to see the qualities that made you choose this person in the first place. 

Encourage your partner to be respectful and understanding during this meeting, as first impressions matter a lot in Nigerian culture.

When your parents see that your partner is earnest, polite, and values your relationship, they might be more inclined to give them a chance. 

This step may take time, and the initial meeting may not change their minds entirely, but it opens the door for ongoing conversations.

4. Be patient and give it time

Changing beliefs and opinions takes time. After your initial discussions, give your parents space to process their feelings. Avoid pressuring them for immediate approval. Instead, allow them to observe your relationship from a distance. 

Sometimes, seeing you happy in a healthy relationship can gradually shift their perspective.

During this time, continue to be supportive of both your parents and your partner. Share positive experiences with your partner that your parents might find reassuring. As they witness your commitment and happiness, their reservations may begin to lessen.

5. Seek support from family or friends

If your parents remain steadfast in their disapproval, consider seeking support from other family members or friends who understand your situation. Having someone advocate for your partner can make a significant difference. They might bridge the gap between your parents and your partner, easing some of the tension.

Moreover, engaging with peers who have faced similar situations can provide you with emotional support and practical advice. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are many who have navigated these waters successfully.

6 ways you can maintain a healthy relationship with your Nigerian in-laws

Meanwhile, TheRadar earlier reported tips to help you develop and maintain a healthy relationship with Nigerian in-laws. 

Understanding their importance in your spouse’s life, setting boundaries, picking your battles wisely and showing respect and gratitude are some of the ways you can have and enjoy a happy home, especially because in the Nigerian culture, marrying someone means marrying into their family.