- Women face great pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards, leading to low self-esteem and a loss of individuality, with many undergoing drastic transformations, from skin bleaching to cosmetic surgeries, in a bid to fit into societal norms, often at the cost of their physical and mental well-being. However, ahead of International Women's Day, it is time for women to unite and challenge these beauty standards, embracing their uniqueness and celebrating their individuality, and challenge these beauty standards, embracing their uniqueness and celebrating their individuality.
Nigerian women face many challenges as they navigate in a society where traditional and modern values coexist.
From fighting patriarchy, which limits their freedom, to stereotypes that see them as weak— a damsel in distress that needs a knight in shining armour to come for the rescue, and societal expectations with unrealistic standards that judge them by appearance.
Imagine standing in a crowd and hearing the whispers: "You are too big," they say, labelling you an 'Orobo.' When you are slender, the comments shift to, "You are too thin, flat." And then, in a confusing twist, if you find yourself somewhere in the middle, you’re met with objectifying remarks disguised as compliments, “You are sexy.”
Each word cuts deeper, enabling a complicated belief that births low self-esteem and an inferiority complex.
A social media user @Crisolis_ said,
“In my opinion anyone who isnt average or skinny isnt beautiful to me. Most people probably think other wise and thats fine to me, but people who call morbidly obese people or severely underweight people attractive because they’re fat or skinny is wrong.”
All these stereotypes have pushed women to a quest of acceptance, even at the expense of their identity.
The quest for acceptance
Adunni was once confident in her dark skin and slim frame, but her self-assurance began to wane when she noticed that men were drawn to her plus-sized friends instead of her. The final blow came when someone commented, "You're too thin, thick bodies rule." These words sparked a desire in Adunni to gain weight.
She began consuming pills and following a strict diet, and soon her efforts paid off. However, her newfound curves were met with criticism. "Why are you getting too fat? I prefer your former stature," people would say. Adunni realised that society's beauty standards are impossible to meet, and that no matter how she looked, she would always be judged.
Citing Adunni's scenario, this constant judgment makes many women seek validation from others, losing their self-worth. They try to please everyone, but no matter what they do, it's never enough.
Amid this struggle, Nigerian women are undergoing transformations that reveal both heartache and resilience, only to be criticised in the end.
@CaptainPrime21 put it plainly:
“Society taught me that no matter what size you are, you will never be good enough, you'll always be too skinny, too fat, too short, too tall... too this, too that.”
This relentless pressure has pushed many Nigerian women into painful reflections and extreme measures to fit into these shifting ideals.
The struggles women face
Women undergo significant transformations, physically and emotionally, just to meet societal expectations. Here are five struggles they face:
1. Skin tone bias
As much as it is often downplayed, dark-skinned women often face discrimination, both within the white community and, surprisingly, even among black people. There's a lingering stigma against dark skin. This has led to an unrealistic beauty standard where being "too dark" is often associated with ugliness.
Lighter-skinned women are preferred over darker-skinned women. This has eaten up the self-confidence of many black women, causing them to feel inadequate and pressured to conform to societal expectations.
Fortunately, a growing self-confidence movement is encouraging people to embrace their natural beauty, celebrating the unique charm of ebony skin and melanin-rich complexions.
However, some women still succumb to the pressure, resorting to skin bleaching and using harmful creams that put them at risk of skin infections, diseases, and other health issues in a desperate bid to conform to societal norms that equate beauty with lighter skin.
2. Body Structure
Many women struggle with body consciousness, striving to meet societal standards of beauty. The idea that a woman's body must conform to certain ideals has led to a culture of self-doubt and insecurity.
To gain acceptance, some feel compelled to alter their bodies. Fat people may restrict their eating, thin people may overindulge, and those who are less curvy may opt for surgical enhancements like implants or BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift) procedures.
However, the harsh reality is that no matter how hard one tries to conform, criticism and ridicule will still follow. Celebrities who have undergone cosmetic procedures are often met with negative comments and body shaming.
This wicked cycle of self-doubt and criticism shows the need for an essential promotion of body positivity, self-acceptance, and self-love, encouraging women to embrace their unique beauty and reject unrealistic societal standards.
Entering the world of BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift) surgeries, where the pursuit of a 'perfect' shape can lead to painful consequences. @_royalove posted,
“our bodies are policed heavily from a young age and it really starts with our families. your family teases you for being too skinny then they shame you for gaining weight. once we realize that there is no such thing as a perfect body and it’s all subjective we can be free.”
3. Hair texture
Investing in self-care is good, but not at the risk of one's health and safety. Society will use words that have the power to shape our perceptions and emotions, and unfortunately, prioritise criticism over compliments, highlighting flaws while ignoring strengths.
Dominion was a victim of this, her experience illustrates this phenomenon. She had brown hair, which drew criticism. Hoping to fit in, she dyed it. Expecting compliments, she was met with silence. Not a single comment was made.
This experience taught Dominion a valuable lesson; people often focus on the negative, ignoring the positive. This realisation can be both disappointing and liberating.
Women would use chemical poisons that strip away natural beauty, as women relax and straighten their hair in an attempt to fit into old ideals.
4. Facial Features
The attractiveness of cosmetic surgical procedures, where rhinoplasties and lip fillers create a facade that often hides deeper insecurities. Ignoring the cost and pain, women struggle with the repercussions for acceptance.
5. Weight and size
“Black women have a VERY disordered relationship with food and body image. From thin girls drinking cases of Ensures and 5 PB&J’s a day to try to grow hips and ass to big girls eating cabbage soup with cayenne pepper for 14 days to drop dress sizes.”
@heyjoydoe wrote.
Weight loss diets, surgeries, and a relentless quest for a socially acceptable body size overshadow the beauty of diversity.
Embracing the change
These struggles are what women go through for acceptance, however, in challenging the societal standards, it is time to rewrite this narrative, and challenge these toxic beauty standards and promote a culture of self-acceptance, empowering black women to love and celebrate their natural beauty.
Women are not merely reflections of societal expectations; they are powerful beings, deserving of love and respect as they are.
Self-confidence and self-love are not luxuries; they are necessities. Each woman, unique in her shape, size, skin tone, and background, is a masterpiece in progress.
Ahead of International Women's Day celebration, let voices be raised in a chorus that reminds you of the truth: Women are so much more than the narrow confines of societal perception. They are strong, resilient, and bursting with potential, ready to inspire and empower one another.
As Gabourey Sidibe once said, “One day I decided that I was beautiful and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl. It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see.”
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and not necessarily of the organisation TheRadar
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