- A man sparked controversy on X after sharing screenshots of his partner complaining about his nonchalant attitude
- Netizens criticised his behaviour, with many sharing personal experiences of dating nonchalant partners
- People suggested different coping strategies to avoid emotional exhaustion
Relationships thrive on communication, emotional investment, and mutual effort.
However, when one partner exhibits a lack of concern or responsiveness, it can create tension and frustration.
This was the centre of a heated discussion on X (formerly Twitter) after a man identified as @hackysterio shared screenshots of messages from his partner, who was upset that he didn’t reach out for 24 hours.
In his post, he captioned the screenshots: "Each of these is 'cos I didn't text for 24 hours. There are even worse para texts that I can't share. This 2025, I started single, I will finish it single. I no like wahala. We go dey reason marriage later."
This sparked an online conversation, with many users criticising his approach and sharing their personal experiences with nonchalant partners.
Struggles of dating nonchalant partner
Many social media users expressed frustration at the emotional toll of dating a nonchalant person.
They described it as emotionally exhausting, with some even calling it a form of neglect.
@winniewheeny stated: “I’ve experienced a nonchalant man, and I promise that you can never be happy. Instead of that kind of man again, let me stay on my own. God actually forbid.”
@OloriOfOloris found the post triggering, saying: “This is so triggering. I can swear that I’ve typed that exact third frame to someone before. Very unfair that you made her feel that way and posting it here is just somehow. She was clearly frustrated from something she’s complained about multiple times with no change.”
@Regtales25 shared a personal story: “I dated a nonchalant person, I kept begging for crumbs of affection. He would just be acting like I was disturbing him. If I say I want to leave the relationship, he panics and starts love bombing, after some time he’s back to his old antics. He was still cheating on top.”
For some, the issue wasn’t just about communication but the perception that nonchalant partners deliberately disregard their significant other’s feelings.
@kritzabella argued: “Nonchalant people are inherently wicked and calm while at it. They do not bloody care! You can set yourself ablaze to keep them warm, and they will tell you they didn’t ask you to.”
Call for accountability
While some users sympathised with the man’s perspective, the general sentiment leaned towards urging him to take responsibility for his actions.
Many suggested that relationships require effort, and if he genuinely cared about his partner, he would make an effort to communicate.
@Vin_dzeal advised: “Apologise and fix up your attitude or whatever it is that’s making you nonchalant towards your love life. Invest in her (feelings, time, love, resources) if you mean well for her, not posting screenshots for cheap clout… be a man!!!!”
@Landlordoflagos encouraged self-reflection: “Bros, please stay away from relationships. Prioritise yourself first, be more than enough for yourself, value yourself, and embrace a deep love for yourself. Until you finish these, you might never be able to love people properly. Communication is a key pillar in relationships.”
Should nonchalant people date each other?
Some users suggested that nonchalant individuals should date people with similar attitudes to avoid emotional distress for more emotionally expressive partners.
@nifehthebeloved wrote: "People like this should honestly remain single, or better still, find nonchalant partners like them. In Jesus' name, Amen. Fire!"
Similarly, @java_warrior remarked: "Even if he meets someone who gives him the same treatment, it would just reinforce his nonchalance. It would give him reason to think he's right to be nonchalant."
Coping strategies: Fight or flight?
For those in relationships with nonchalant partners, opinions varied on how best to handle the situation.
While some advocated for direct communication, others suggested mirroring the nonchalance or leaving the relationship altogether.
Omolara advised: "If you have a nonchalant partner, speak to them about it, and if there’s no change, become nonchalant yourself."
@acca_ish added: “If your partner is nonchalant, learn how to be nonchalant. Use the opportunity to focus on your ambitions and goals in life.”
Olamide gave a more direct approach: “Better move on if you don’t want him to do more damage or if you can’t stand it anymore.”
While everyone has different communication styles, neglecting a partner’s need for attention and reassurance can lead to resentment and relationship breakdowns.
A relationship is a two-way street, requiring both partners to show effort and concern.
If one person constantly feels unheard or undervalued, it may be time to reassess the relationship dynamics and decide whether to fix the issue or move on.
Ultimately, as @Amie_billion puts it: “I don’t think there’s anything like a nonchalant man or woman… The person just doesn’t love you enough to prioritise you. Everybody knows what they’re doing.”
11 tips for handling nonchalant partner in relationship
Meanwhile, TheRadar earlier compiled some practical tips on how to deal with a nonchalant partner in the relationship.
Nonchalance refers to a lack of concern or enthusiasm. In relationships, it manifests as emotional unavailability, indifference to the partner’s needs, or a general lack of effort.
Communicating, focusing on yourself, setting boundaries, matching their energy and other tips can help deal with a nonchalant partner.