The financial tension between spouses, especially when the wife earns but refuses to support her struggling husband, happens in many homes.
This article explores the importance of mutual support in marriage, questions the idea of sending a wife “back to her father’s house,” and emphasises the need for communication, shared responsibility, and financial respect on both sides.
A recent social media post about a husband struggling to pay rent while his working wife offered him a loan with a repayment deadline has sparked a heated conversation online.
The issue of financial support between spouses is not new, but it becomes even more controversial when one partner is clearly in distress, and the other chooses to look away.
In a country like Nigeria, where men are often expected to carry the financial weight of the household, this situation exposes a bigger problem: what happens when the woman earning a stable income refuses to help her husband?
The post in question described a husband footing all household bills despite struggling to manage his income.
His wife, who earns her own money, keeps it to herself and only offers financial support in the form of a loan, with a deadline.
Unsurprisingly, this left many people angry, with some suggesting that the wife should be sent back to her father’s house.
The problem with this behaviour
Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, not a one-sided hustle.
If a man is taking care of the home, the least he should expect is support from his wife when things get tough.
Watching your spouse struggle and refusing to help, not because you can’t but because you won’t, is not just cold-hearted; it’s dangerous.
This isn’t about asking women to shoulder all responsibilities or excuse lazy partners. It's about balance.
It’s about stepping up when your partner is clearly drowning.
Unfortunately, some people carry the mindset that a man must never need help, even from his wife.
This outdated thinking puts undue pressure on men and breaks marriages in silence.
Should she be sent to her father's house?
As much as the wife’s behaviour is wrong, suggesting that she should be sent packing may be taking it too far.
Yes, her lack of support is a red flag. But marriage is not built on ultimatums. It’s built on communication, correction, and growth.
A conversation, counselling, or even setting new financial expectations might help.
If, after that, there’s still no change, then bigger decisions can be made.
But jumping straight to eviction skips all the steps that make marriage what it is, a commitment to work through issues together.
Financial respect goes both ways
We talk a lot about financial independence for women, and rightly so. But men also deserve financial respect.
A woman who expects support when things are hard must be willing to give the same.
Love cannot be one-sided. Support cannot be optional. And marriages where partners act like strangers during tough times are bound to collapse.
At the end of the day, it’s not about who pays what.
It’s about whether you have each other’s back when it truly matters.
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and not necessarily of the organisation TheRadar.
10 financial red flags to watch out for in your partner
Meanwhile, TheRadar earlier reported that financial compatibility between partners plays a huge role in the success of any serious relationship.
TheRadar compiled 10 top financial red flags to watch out for in a partner, the subtle and not-so-subtle behaviours that could spell trouble down the road.